I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
