dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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