we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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