I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
