yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
