he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
