well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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