reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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