well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
