weddingsv make me drug and hornr
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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