There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I love you.
Bad choice
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
