I showed him my bush... on skype.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
