Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We talked him into tasing himself.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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