So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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