Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
