at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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