My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize