Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Jerry, you need to find god
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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