barbara walters just said penis...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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