I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
