apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
