He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
