I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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