I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We are all done wearing pants today
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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