My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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