While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
