Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
