i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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