help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
