Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
