i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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