So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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