I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize