Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
