I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
