Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
this just has baby written all over it
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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