just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
