Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
