New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
