So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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