Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
