Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
