Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
