I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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