About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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