my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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