fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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