When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize