I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
