Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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