how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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