I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
