U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
