My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
