Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she smelled like a LAN party
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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