One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
