You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
