SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
