I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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