he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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