So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
