Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
