I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
