ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
