OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
