the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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