That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
