new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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