I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
