Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
