And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
